{My Mother}

Hello and Happy Friday!!!

Yesterday I went and did a workout with my mom at Grand Mere State Park!!

She hired a trainer that does outside fitness and well....you know how much I love to workout! I thought...now that's something I could do with her to be supportive!

Truth be told.....

We've had a very strained relationship....
I had a very difficult childhood and I held a lot of anger in my heart towards my mom for that.

I won't get into all the details but I can guarantee you....we would make it on the Jerry Springer show if we shared our story!

Anywho....plus over the years I've really felt that mom just let herself go.....and it really bothered me.
Why should I let it affect me....I don't know....it just did.

We hadn't talked or spent anytime together for years....I sort of went my way and she went hers....
I always just felt like she was a real whack job....sorry just being honest. I just couldn't understand where she was coming from with her life choices.
but I never asked either.

Recently...my girlfriends and I were chatting about our mothers and they were saying how much they like my mom.....I couldn't believe it...I was like...."really??" So...they coaxed me into inviting her over to a few gatherings and we all chatted.

As we were all talking......so many feelings were just welling up inside of me...anger...resentment...sadness...confusion.....and I just thought to myself...it's now or never....
I just have to get some of the questions answered...I just have to understand where she's coming from.

So with my girlfriends acting as therapists...we went back and forth...

And as tears rolled down my mothers face and I sat there and listened to her life story....I just couldn't believe my ears....how much pain she has endured in her life....every decision she made that angered me...made perfect sense...

Here sitting before me was the most beautiful woman ...with a spirit and a soul that would surpass most people i'd ever known. I never knew.

I realized that as a woman myself...no longer a child...I could move past the hurt and anger and really open my heart and be a true friend to my mother.
I realized that all she's ever wanted out of life was to be loved...truly loved...
Deep down...isn't that all we ever really want out of life......
We want people to love us:)

So as of late....I've made a real effort to open my heart...to let go....and to be a real friend to my mother.
She doesn't have girlfriends....
and so instead of feeling embarrassed of her...mad at her or just not understanding her...
I decided to just open my heart up and see what happens!

All we can do is go up from here.

I realize that she is a survivor.
And all of her qualities that drive me insane....are in me too.

She has recently embarked on a weight loss journey and when she told me about her personal trainer...I thought...well I could do that! I love...love...love fitness and working out!
I could be someone who could really support her in this journey!

And so I went to one of her sessions:)
Open heart and all.

I realized that her trainer liked her...laughed at her ....and truly enjoyed her...
I thought to myself....what have I been missing out on.

I realized I could be her biggest supporter.
Instead of holding my own feelings of negativity inside...
I could set them free and just be there for someone else.

And when we're out and about and people make fun of her because she's a large lady pounding down the french fries...I can get out of my seat...walk over and punch them in the face...(no not really).
But I won't spend my days feeling embarrassed or not understanding anymore...
I will realize that everyone is fighting their own battle....and I can love her just as she is:)
Plus...i've been known to pound down the french fries when i'm feeling depressed.....i'm not perfect....no one is.

She has lost 40lbs already...by the way!

I now choose to be my mom's supporter...cheerleader...friend.
I know our relationship may never be perfect....we aren't perfect.
But at least we are starting to have one again:)

Anywho....it was a fabulous time!! We laughed and got our sweat on .....and I just felt really, really proud of my mom!

If you're in the area.....
check out Nature's Fitness!!
It's awesome!! How can you go wrong gettin' your sweat on in nature!
Thanks for letting me share a feeling! I really do believe we all have so much to learn from one another:)
Have a fabulous Friday!

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost.
~Thomas J. Watson


  1. ...just awesome! What a WONDERFUL story, Heather... Thank you so much for sharing!!!!

    Have a great weekend & a lot of fun with your love ones!!


  2. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story about you and your mother Heather! You're not only a creative soul but you have a big open heart as well!

  3. I'm so happy for you. Especially, because you still have the opportunity to do so.

    You looked beautiful while you were being so brave!

    Have a great weekend.

    Love you new blog picture (header). It would make a beautiful card.



  4. So glad you and your Mother have found each other. Life is short.

  5. Great post!!

    It's not easy writing things like that...and good for you for taking the first step to opening up that relationship with her again. There are certain things that we don't understand until we become adults ourselves and really take the time to listen.

    Love, lovely post!!

  6. Good for you! My mom was a wacko, too, and my life a made-for-tv-movie. Near the end of her life, when she was no longer able to avoid going to the doctor, she was diagnosed as mentally ill. My sister and I looked at one another and laughed because it explained such a lot. We couldn't be mad anymore because, as adults, we could see that her mistakes and bad judgments hadn't been intentional and didn't reflect on our worth, although it had felt that way in childhood. Isn't it amazing that the change we need to make peace with our past is in US and no one else? Love it.

  7. Sometimes we truly do not see those wonderful qualities others see in our parents...or understand why they made their choices. We have the blinders of childhood clouding our eyes and lots of hurts surrounding our emotions. But as you are learning, our parents have those, too. Talking with your mother was cathartic for both of you. You have shared a lot of newly gained wisdom...and hopefully, a warm and loving relationship with your mother will be the result.
    Thank you for sharing this journey with us...Your words of wisdom will resonate with many of your readers...

  8. This post has me in tears. Thank you for writing, and being honest and raw. It was beautiful!

  9. This is just a sweet sweet story! I am glad everything is working out. So happy for you and your mom and wow 40 pounds that is great!

  10. What a wonderful post! It's not easy to open up with our feelings about our mothers! But it's the same thing we've always heard...if we could walk a mile in someone else's shoes...we could understand more! I'm happy for you both and it's great that you can support her in her goals. I have a post I'm working on for Aug 4th about my weight loss. I don't know if there's anything in it that would help...but it's my little story! ♥

  11. a beautiful, touching story! some lessons there for us all to have compassion for others.

  12. amazing heather. you have a big heart and in the end, everyone will win becasue of it.

    live life like you want NO regrets!

    oh, and that work out looks like exhausting fun : )

  13. Hi Heather-

    Hi Heather -

    What a wonderful post - you are always so open and honest. I am happy that you and your mom have found each other and now can build a new relationship. It looks like you are off to a great start.

    My best- Diane

  14. I'm so happy for both of you! I hope this is the beginning of wonderful things for you and your mom!

    Kat :)

  15. What a beautiful story! I hope this is just the start of a great relationship with your mom. Just try to keep the communication open and be honest with each other. I wish you the best!

    Lori : )
    Thrifty Decor Mom

  16. Oh Heather....what a sweet, heart wretching, tender, introspective and loving post. You were experiencing such a mix of feelings, and I'm so glad that you made amends, forgave, and opened the door to your heart to your mom. ♥ You are such a special gal - too special to hold all of that animosity in. God bless you, sweetie! AND I'm looking forward to meeting you TOMORROW at the flea market! I told Michelle that I feel like I'm meeting a rock star celebrity! lol! HUGS!!

    xoxo laurie

  17. Wow, what a beautifully written post! I know it wasn't easy to share. I pray you and your Mom have many years together. I'm sure your influence will be a great gift to her...and hers to you.


  18. Heather - what a great post today. I loved reading this and applaud you on the progress you have made opening your mind and heart. It really made me stop and think about my relationship with my Mom. Thank you for sharing this. XO

  19. How beautiful...I am proud of you...you just grew tremendously through that gesture. Thank you for sharing and teaching!

    To strength...to love!

  20. Heather this is beautiful! I so glad that you opened your heart to your mom and to let go of the anger and hurt that you felt. You have made two wonderful hearts lighter and happier and I am so happy that you are doing this with your mom, what a great start to your new relationship.

    I love the new look of your blog!!

  21. Love your new blog layout. I just came back from fishing in Oregon and caught only one rainbow trout but it was fun! I love the turquoise truck that you found!

  22. Heather,

    Thank you for sharing your story. I hope that you and your Mom will continue to make good memories together. I am thrilled that you are talking to each other. It gives me hope for me and my daughter. It all happens the way it is supposed to. In its own time. Peggy

  23. So glad you are on the path to making amends. I did not have a great relationship with my mom. She passed away almost 20 years ago and I miss her every day and wish she were here!


Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment! I really appreciate your thoughts:):)