19.7.10

{lessons}

Hello...
First of all...i'm a little crazy right now....I posted this then deleted it...then posted it...then deleted it...several times....before
Kamichia e-mailed me to see what happened to the post and I thought maybe others read it beore I deleted it and I didn't want them to think they were crazy...my brain is just spinning right now with so many thoughts.....soooooo

I'd like to think that I am a very private person but most anyone who knows me knows that I have no problem sharing things about my life. I think we all can learn from one another, if I share experiences in my life and how i've dealt with them it might just help someone else and so on.

Here goes.....
I found out this morning that my step-father passed away from what is believed, at this time, to be a massive heart attack.

Besides my gramps he was the only dad i've ever known.
I was one of those accidents in life........my "dad" found out that my mother was pregnant and well, decided that he really didn't need a baby in his life. Who really would at 17 years of age.

My step father entered my life when I was 13 and I can thank him for so many things.
He was the one who got me involved in fitness...we ran races together and we got up every morning in the summer when I was younger to run before the sun came up. He was much faster than me but never let on. I enjoyed those times more than he'll ever know. He taught me so much about life and living. He was always gentle in his approach and so I always really listened to what he had to say.

Through the years his health became less and less important to him. This was hard for me to see. But I realize sometimes other things in life take precidence. That's life. It's not always perfect.

Even though he and my mother are no longer together I always found it important to keep him in my life. It's not fair to end a relationship with someone you care about just because someone else ends their relationship. But I didn't visit as much as I should have. Funny how we always think we can do it later.

This morning I went out for an early morning run to clear my mind and really think about him. I am learning when you lose someone, things become so clear even if just for a moment. I think it's from trying to make sense of it all. First they clear and then you cry.

I fist starting thinking about my health and how I will work hard to keep my health. and how his had really deteriated over the years. I thought that my first wealth is my health. You already know that's very much how I live my life. But then I realized that's just not true.

My first wealth is my attitude.
There may be times in my life when I am sick or have an injury or any number of things that might not leave me with my "health." It will be my attitude that will carry me through.
There may be times when I have to deal with difficult things; challenging people, challenging situations, a loss of a job, winter, on and on. I can choose how I let things affect me.


There will always be choices in the attitude I choose to take during happy times and during challenging times.
I am learning this once again today. I will get through this and will take the attitude of; life is always trying to teach us something...we just have to be open enough to listen.

Then I thought.....your health truly is a wealth too.
But I do think it's pretty hard to have health without a positive attitude.
I am only given one body and I choose and will continue to choose to make it the healthiest body I can have. Minus my vino every once in awhile:)
I really think we can't take our health for granted. We are only given one body and one life {as far as I know} and we should take care of them both!

My third thing I really thought about was.......why do I always let so much time pass before I see someone that I care about. Life gets busy, I know but I need to remember that blink my eyes and I may not get that chance to see that person I care about again. Such a hard lesson.
Take it from me...if your thinking about someone you haven't seen in awhile; pick up the phone & call them, send a card, stop over.......just do whatever because you might not get the chance again.

We don't always know why things happen....and things don't always make sense but I do think we can learn things from everything that happens in life. I always say...everything in life is a learning lesson.

He will be greatly missed....more than the I can ever express.

Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest. We can all learn something from one another and I hope you learned something from me sharing my loss.

If I don't check in for a little while you'll know why. I am sure i'll be quite busy for the next several days and not really in the mood to be chipper.

And in case I don't say it enough....I appreciate each and every one of you that stops by my little ol' blog.
It's your positive comments that keep me going on.

Thanks for listening.

~Heather

Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. ~Author Unknown

37 comments:

  1. i'm so sorry for your loss ~ you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    this post was definitely an inspiring one, a little push to remember how fragile life is.

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  2. Thanks for sharing this. I am so sorry for your loss. You are so right on not letting time pass so easily. I have been guilty of that myself.

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  3. hey girl....

    so sorry for your loss. you know i know how you feel. it sounds like you have many great memories of your step-dad. i find those things really make the difference in finding peace & working through the grief of losing a loved one.

    you are SO right about communicating with the people that you care about. life really is short....especially the older you get. the faster it really does go by.

    thanks for sharing & hang in there girl. i think we can all learn a lesson from your life experience.

    hugs...
    k

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  4. Boogieboard CottageJuly 19, 2010 at 1:29 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss, Heather. Your Step-Father sounds like he was a wonderful man. He choose to be your father, which is what a "real" father would do. He taught you valuable things, like how to stay healthy, which became a big part of your lifestyle. Please don't be hard on yourself for not visiting with as much as you wanted to. You made him happy simply by loving him and love knows no time or distance. You choose to continue a father/daughter relationship with him, which is what a "real" daughter would do. I pray that the Lord will confort you in your time of grieving and until the day that you are reunited. God bless you, Mary

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  5. Oh Heather......just got back in town to find this. I am so sorry for your loss and I think you've expressed your feelings in the most beautiful way. And getting it out to people who love you is great therapy. Know that we all do love you and support you always. Any time you need to vent or rave or just be happy...we are here to receive you.
    Gather your strength and surround yourself with those you love...but your attitude is one of the greatest attributes you have...it lifts me up everytime I read your words!
    Ditto on making the effort to see and feel our friends. That's why I travel so much. So I can see them and touch them and love them RIGHT NOW. NEVAH LET A DAY GO BY!!

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  6. Dear Heather,

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your feelings and reminding us all to share ours as well.
    You had left a comment on my blog "Good Haven House Beach Blog" awhile back and I had been meaning to email and thank you.
    We have alot in common it seems! German Shepards, living in the midwest, loving the beach, and crafting, and blogging...... I look forward to reading more of your great blog.

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  7. Oh sweet Heather, I am sorry for the loss of one so dear, but I do thank you for sharing your thoughts with all os us. We are quite a community and there are many lessons to be shared. This is an important one, in my estimation the most important one. When they say "never put off till tomorrow, what you can do today" I think visiting or calling loved ones tops the list.

    The other day I was visiting one of my favorite blogs and she wrote about another blogger friend of hers, a young mother and wife, who was killed in an accident last week while antiquing in Atlanta. I went to her blog and at that time there were 559 comments left.

    My blogging friend had passed on the same message you did. My children's father died at the age of 37.

    So anyone reading Heather's message, please hear it loud and clear.

    Heather, you take all the time you need, we all will be holding you in our hearts.

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  8. Thanks for the reality check. Your lesson has now become my lesson. My prayers are with you and your family as you learn to cope without your stepfather.

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  10. hi Heather-

    I am so sorry to hear about your step-dad. It is the hardest thing in life - to lose a loved one. Just know you are in my thoughts. I firmly believe in the quote at the bottom of your post -beautiful.

    Take Care-
    Diane

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  11. Heather, I am so sorry for your loss. Life can take turns, some for the good and some for bad. Lessons are usually learned the hard way. The older I get the more I wish I did things differently as far as taking the time to spend with the ones that I loved while they were still here. About 4 years ago I suffered two heart attacks and had a double bi-pass (all from freaky hormones) right after my son was born. I was 32 years old and it changed the way I look at life and the people that are close to me. Life does get busy and there are days that go by so quickly and still things that I wish I would do differently but I try to make up for those as best I can. We are not perfect. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that your blog family will help you through this as well. Take your time and grieve and remember all the wonderful memories that you have of your step-father. God bless you.

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  12. I am so sorry! I started to think about my attitude about life and my health after my father almost passed away and then my father in law was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease. I hope that all is well with you :)

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  13. This is a great loss and I am so sorry for your heart ache. Life lessons come in so many ways and when we least expect it. Youhave processed this all out and you are to be commended for your honesty and that you shared this all with us. It really is the little things in life that matter the most - take some time for yourself right now~~~

    vicki

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  14. Heather - I was so sorry to read about the loss of your step-father. So very sorry. My prayers are with you, sweet friend. I'm glad that you shared your feelings with us today because we are here to support you and lift you up. That's what friends do.

    Know that you are being hugged by all of us blog-sisters out here. Take time for yourself and your family to heal and find comfort.

    In His Arms -

    laurie@heavens-walk

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  15. My heart sends you love & peace during this time, Heather.

    You will probably never know how many you have helped by sharing your thoughts with us...you are so strong and brave.

    Take as much time as YOU need ~ We will be here for you when you are ready.

    Hugs,
    Marie @ Sally Lee by the Sea

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  16. Take care, my prayers are with you and your family.

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  17. Dear Heather,
    I'm sorry for your loss and sadness.
    I just don't know how you do it. No matter the situation you manage to help others. Thank you for the good advice.

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  18. I'm so sorry to hear about your step father. I'll be thinking about you and saying a prayer for you too.

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  19. Such a beautiful post...Im so sorry to hear of your loss...your in my thoughts.

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  20. What a wonderful tribute to your step father! I'm sure he's smiling in heaven that his girl remembers him so fondly.

    Thanks for sharing your honest feelings and for gently reminding us how precious time is.

    Take care of YOU.

    Hugs,
    Kat

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  21. Heather-sorry for your loss-It is sad that sometimes we need to lose something to really appreciate what we have. My prayers are with you.

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  22. Thank you for sharing this personal time with us. I really think it's interesting as I found your gorgeous blog and read your moving post through Shorely Chic... Have you read this post? http://shorelychic.blogspot.com/2010/07/tranquilista.html
    Your stepdad sounded like a fantastic influence on you. He'd be very proud if he read your words! Hope your mum is OK too. Pruxxx

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  23. Heather,
    I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Dad. It was very generous of you to share your thoughts and we all totally appreciate the lessons about life that you're learning and the lessons you teach us.
    Take all the time you need before returning to blogland...please know that we're all here on the sidelines, cheering you on!
    Take care of yourself and all those you love.
    Peace, dear one.
    Becky

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  24. My thoughts while reading your post were how tragedy causes us to grow and discover and learn...about ourselves and life as a whole. I'm sorry for your loss. God be with you and your family during this time. Thinking of you.

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  25. Please accept my heartfelt condolences on your loss. I totally agree with you that it is important to share how we feel. Thank you for sharing your feelings about your stepdad. I hope your memories of him will comfort you during this difficult time. Hugs to you my friend.
    Jeanne

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  26. Please accept my heartfelt condolences on your loss. I totally agree with you that it is important to share how we feel. Thank you for sharing your feelings about your stepdad. I hope your memories of him will comfort you during this difficult time. Hugs to you my friend.
    Jeanne

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  27. Hey Girl! I am so sorry for your loss!! I know there is nothing I can say to make things better, but I do feel your pain! I lost my grandfather in February to Lukemia. And yes, you do have to take what life throws at you and learn from it! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers!!

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  28. Heather..., I wish you the very best for this challenging time! I'm trying to overcome death..., and to feel "life" beyond the body, if you will. Your step dad is still somewhere, just not in physical form..., so you might be able to sense him. I believe it's possible. I also love the saying "feeling is healing"..., whatever you feel, let it flow, but I think you're already doing that! Again, my heartfelt condolences and best wishes!

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  29. 愛情是一種發明,需要不斷改良。只是,這種發明和其他發明不一樣,它沒有專利權,隨時會被人搶走。............................................................

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  30. Heather,
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't ever stop writing your thoughts. We're all here for each other, and you do give so much of your self to others every single day. You'll be in my thoughts!
    Big hugs,
    Char

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  31. You'll be in my thoughts Heather. Stay strong. And thanks for sharing with us, you've touched me with your beautiful words.
    Hugs,
    Sharon.

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  32. Heather I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how this must feel.

    Keeping you in my thoughts
    xo

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  33. Hi Heather
    I have been a bit behind this week and just read your latest post...went to this one to find out what changed in your life...

    I am so sorry for your loss. It is always difficult losing someone who meant so much to you... Thank goodness for our memories. They sustain us during times like this. Thank you for reminding all of us that life changes quickly and unexpectedly. You are in my thoughts...
    Jane (Artfully Graced)

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  34. Lovely words for such a difficult experience. Thanks for sharing your pain and newfound clarity with us! I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a year and a half ago to cancer but was fortunate to be by his side when he took his last breath. It changes your world forever, but you'll see growth in yourself because of it over time.
    Big hugs~
    T

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  35. Heather-
    It's Monica. I love your site! It is sooo you, sweet and creative. I love your video and I am going to make the letters with Kay Lee this weekend. I think even I can do that one. (we know how patient I am) What you said about George is so true and you are right attitude is everything in life. If you think you can't you can't, if think you can you can. Either way your right! Your home is lovely, I haven't seen it since you moved in and you have Heathertized it and it is just as beautiful as you are. Have a great night MW

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  36. Oh Heather, I am really sorry I wasn't around in the blogosphere when you just began dealing with this. I am sorry about your stepdad passing.

    Your lesson though is very true. I hope it stays with you and you pass it on. Again I am sorry.

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