{lessons}

Hello...
First of all...i'm a little crazy right now....I posted this then deleted it...then posted it...then deleted it...several times....before Kamichia e-mailed me to see what happened to the post and I thought maybe others read it beore I deleted it and I didn't want them to think they were crazy...my brain is just spinning right now with so many thoughts.....soooooo

I'd like to think that I am a very private person but most anyone who knows me knows that I have no problem sharing things about my life. I think we all can learn from one another, if I share experiences in my life and how i've dealt with them it might just help someone else and so on.

Here goes.....
I found out this morning that my step-father passed away from what is believed, at this time, to be a massive heart attack.

Besides my gramps he was the only dad i've ever known.
I was one of those accidents in life........my "dad" found out that my mother was pregnant and well, decided that he really didn't need a baby in his life. Who really would at 17 years of age.

My step father entered my life when I was 13 and I can thank him for so many things.
He was the one who got me involved in fitness...we ran races together and we got up every morning in the summer when I was younger to run before the sun came up. He was much faster than me but never let on. I enjoyed those times more than he'll ever know. He taught me so much about life and living. He was always gentle in his approach and so I always really listened to what he had to say.

Through the years his health became less and less important to him. This was hard for me to see. But I realize sometimes other things in life take precidence. That's life. It's not always perfect.

Even though he and my mother are no longer together I always found it important to keep him in my life. It's not fair to end a relationship with someone you care about just because someone else ends their relationship. But I didn't visit as much as I should have. Funny how we always think we can do it later.

This morning I went out for an early morning run to clear my mind and really think about him. I am learning when you lose someone, things become so clear even if just for a moment. I think it's from trying to make sense of it all. First they clear and then you cry.

I fist starting thinking about my health and how I will work hard to keep my health. and how his had really deteriated over the years. I thought that my first wealth is my health. You already know that's very much how I live my life. But then I realized that's just not true.

My first wealth is my attitude.
There may be times in my life when I am sick or have an injury or any number of things that might not leave me with my "health." It will be my attitude that will carry me through.
There may be times when I have to deal with difficult things; challenging people, challenging situations, a loss of a job, winter, on and on. I can choose how I let things affect me.

There will always be choices in the attitude I choose to take during happy times and during challenging times.
I am learning this once again today. I will get through this and will take the attitude of; life is always trying to teach us something...we just have to be open enough to listen.

Then I thought.....your health truly is a wealth too.
But I do think it's pretty hard to have health without a positive attitude.
I am only given one body and I choose and will continue to choose to make it the healthiest body I can have. Minus my vino every once in awhile:)
I really think we can't take our health for granted. We are only given one body and one life {as far as I know} and we should take care of them both!

My third thing I really thought about was.......why do I always let so much time pass before I see someone that I care about. Life gets busy, I know but I need to remember that blink my eyes and I may not get that chance to see that person I care about again. Such a hard lesson.
Take it from me...if your thinking about someone you haven't seen in awhile; pick up the phone & call them, send a card, stop over.......just do whatever because you might not get the chance again.

We don't always know why things happen....and things don't always make sense but I do think we can learn things from everything that happens in life. I always say...everything in life is a learning lesson.
He will be greatly missed....more than the I can ever express.

Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest. We can all learn something from one another and I hope you learned something from me sharing my loss.

If I don't check in for a little while you'll know why. I am sure i'll be quite busy for the next several days and not really in the mood to be chipper.

And in case I don't say it enough....I appreciate each and every one of you that stops by my little ol' blog.
It's your positive comments that keep me going on.

Thanks for listening.
~Heather

Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. ~Author Unknown